I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
