I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let the clothes fall where they may.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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