I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
