So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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