Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
