Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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