the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
