We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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