Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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