I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
