remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
