Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
