im gay
i know
yea but for you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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