plz talk dirty to me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I would fuck him just for his dog
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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