Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
