And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
