Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize