Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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