I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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