I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
