she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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