new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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