It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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