butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
