Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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