I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
