Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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