i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
