There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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