I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
