I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
