she was so not down for the gang bang
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
