I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
