I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
