Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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