wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
pop tarts are not kleenex
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
