Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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