I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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