There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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