The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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