im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
