I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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