O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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