I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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