Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize