im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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