He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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