I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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