Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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