Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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