when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
