one might say we're banned from that church
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
