She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize