I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We are two peas in an std pod
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize