All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
