I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
