oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
