I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
