Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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