If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
