and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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