I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
